Defining the "I"

Tonight, my question is not "What defines you," but rather "What do you let define you?"
Is it your hobby? Your sport? The things you do with your hands or mind? Do you live in the moments of these uniquenesses, surround yourself by like-minded people in a community where you feel most like yourself? Does this become who you are and want to be?
Or, is it what others say? Have you created a bubble or built up a pretense of being someone else? ... a person you admired or started to become so long ago, you don't remember who decided to change?-- the 'old' you. Do you see yourself as beautiful, smart, ignorant, or outcast because that's what you hear?
What do you allow to become your definition? And most importantly, is this 'ok' with you?

Top Earth Friendly Fashions

These earrings are made out of keys from old cell phones! Available from SECCO's Secret for about $30.

Soda Tab Purse from recycled aluminum cans. $75 from Ecoist.

Via Runway

Visit Via Runway for hot trends and high fashions. Some notable designers include Marc Jacobs and Proenza Schouler.

The item I'm craving is Pictured: the Jewel Neck Coat with Fur, $3,625.00

Seattle Bride Magazine Dress

I had to share this photo... I did a shoot for designer Omar Lecona and got to see it in person. Fabulous doesn't describe the detail that went into creating a dress out of Seattle Bride magazine covers!

Original Column- Sex in the City

Are you missing the cancelled show? Holed up this winter? Missing your good girlfriends who are all now in cozy relationships?

Check out The New Yorker's original inspiration for the show. Candace Bushnell has the dish on what's hot (and not), the single life of New York City.

Want to Buy a Water Buffalo?

Looking for something a little different this year? Consider buying a water buffalo, flock of geese, or heifer through Heifer International, an organization dedicated to providing third-world countries with the means to reach self-reliance through training and the gift of animals. Participants are shown how to maintain a high level of care for their animal, best use their animal as a source of long-lasting income, and must pass along offspring to other members of their community in a growing solution to end poverty in their region.

One Heart Studio

Never one to give a typical store-bought present, my goal is to post some unique finds for holiday gifting.

Here is the first: One Heart Studios

Hand-written scripts are personalized on your choice of boxes, ornaments, t-shirts, and more. Choose a script, or write your own!

The Local Lowdown

Hungry? Seattle is now available! As a contributing author, I have to give a short plug. The cover hints at insider's tips to where to go and what to eat in the Seattle area. My favorite pick? It was Maltby Cafe, a small eatery hidden in the farmland of Maltby. A hands-down favorite, people travel from all over for homestyle breakfasts and a cinnamon roll to feed four.

Christmas Cheer

Today I couldn't resist... the one thing to look forward to in a dark and cold season is the highlight of Christmas. The warm glow, tinsel, holiday smells, and bustle of activity-- I love it all. Early this morning, I happened to open my storage unit and saw my Christmas decorations. I looked. I closed the door. I came back, looked again, hesitated, and brought it inside. I'm not ready to put up the tree, but my meager attempt to begin celebrating included a wooden nativity, three faceless carolers, a door hanger, and some greenery/holly for around the tv. Yet to make an appearance is the silver and blue tree decorations, small train set, and holiday boxes.
Now if only the shopping were done...

The Eyes Have It!

There's nothing more enticing than a standout makeup of a beautiful pair of eyes. Here's to the models and artists I admire.

Unknown models from London Fashion Week.

Gisele Bundchen

Eva Paloniova

Anabela Belikov

Louis Vuitton Fall 2007

A few picks from the Paris runway.

The Sneakery

*

*

*

*

*

*

Featured in Seattle magazine, The Sneakery is owned by former record store employee, Drea Berthold. Filled with funky footwear, this store is a treat with a $40-$80 price tag.

Says Drea, "It's all about luxury for the common man."

Slave to the Needle

I discovered Slave to the Needle as a recommendation from a friend's boyfriend. On a whim, I decided to get my nose stud. It was early on a Sunday when I called her up to be my support under the "gun." Her boyfriend, our driver, knew just where to go. I had no qualms whatsoever about putting my features into the hands of my piercer, David. The store itself was an experience! A gallery or shrine to their art? I'm not sure which describes what's inside better. "Slave" artists, who tour nationwide to showcase their work and find new clients, have been voted the best in Seattle for 5 years straight and the shop has won 'Nicest Studio' twice over at the National Tatoo Convention.


This is my piercer, David, the poor guy

who had to look up my nostril.

I might be his only client who couldn't hold still

from laughing! (at myself that is,

relieved it didn't hurt)

Fear

"Yeah Though I Walk Through the Valley of The Shadow of Death I Will Fear No Evil" print by Frank Pape
Are you aware of your fear? Do you recognize what scares you or does it jump up and snatch at you from the broken shadows when you least expect? Knowing your fear is just the beginning to gaining control over it again.

What do I fear... ?

I fear my mother. I'm afraid of becoming her; I'm afraid I will settle for being less of myself, giving in to doubt, and living in sadness. I don't want to fear what's outside my front door, as if it were a shrouded Reaper waiting... waiting. I don't want to give up on myself. That I won't look the way I want, be able to do what I want, or be liked because like her, that is what I tell myself.
I fear what she will say. I fear what comes across her lips in moments where the tension grows into swollen words, lashing out and crossing all boundaries of civil respect. I fear what she says, because deep down, it does matter. I do want her to understand the things she never can. And I'm left holding a dilemma.

I fear my body. I fear what it does of it's own accord, working against my efforts through genetic makeup I try to twist and form. I fear that one day I will wake up, look in the mirror, and see nothing but my imperfections and stop loving myself in the shallowness of judgement I reserve only for that reflection. The mirror that stands between me and idealism.

I fear love. I fear letting go and believing in perfect love, opening up my heart and feelings and not regretting that bond we shared. I fear that I might have found that, and could somehow ruin it. And then blame myself for being the one, this time, to screw everything up.

I fear regret; of what I might have done, or chose to do. I know I feel things deeply, with the true heart of a woman, even if it doesn't show on the outside. I fear that my loyalties, my tenderness, my ability to see the best in people will be misplaced time and again, leaving me with more regret.

I fear being female. I fear being a female whose gender is preyed upon over, and over, and over again; Living always with caution, guarded and suspicious. I fear because I am female and just like any other woman, can and have been overpowered. And I hate that.

I fear being destitute; not being able to care for my needs, without money, friends, or shelter. I fear that I will again experience what it's like for family to walk away. That isolation breeds mistrust, especially if their reasons were unfounded. This to, is also a form of destitution.

I don't live in fear, but I deal with fear, try to face it, cope, and move ahead. When you know your fears, begin to understand them, you can recognize when that fear is triggered and where your responses stem from underneath the current situation.

What do you fear?

Best of Show 2007

The International Photography Awards of 2007 have been announced! The results are what we should expect from the world's best amateur and professional photographers. My favorite link was 2007 Best of Show.

Sleep, Oh Sleep

Sleep, sleep...
You are a dirty little thing that taunts and teases and questions my need. You don't play fair. I hate you and need you and wish you'd come and then leave me alone. We are inseparably in love and in war.

Post Secret

*

*

*

*

*

Post Secret began as an innovative idea turned blog. Now two books are dedicated to the postcards people have decorated and sent in as submissions of their secrets. Part venue for getting something off your chest, and part portal into the mysterious lives and thoughts of those around us, this is a concept you shouldn't miss.

New Styles Miss the Mark

I'm going to go out on a limb here to say a few words about two popular trends. I've sat on my fingers, held my tongue, and overlooked the pictures, now it's time to contradict what seems to be two popularly painful styles this season: High waisted pants and Ugg boots.

First are the up-to-your ears waistlines we've been seeing. Maybe it's just me, but this certainly does nothing to enhance my figure. I think of plaid polyester. I think of grandpa. I don't think of my mid-tenties and being fashionably fabulous. Even Jessica Simpson appears to have a poochy, grandfatherly look in this wear.

Next, Ugg boots. UGG BOOTS?! I just don't understand. Mucking out cow stalls, yes, everyday wear? I just don't understand. There are so many styles of boots this season. Cute boots. Sexy boots. Wearable boots. And somehow these made the cut. Even worse, maybe I'll be spotting them with the highest of waisted pants-- or [gasp] shorts!

I'll humbly step off my podium, and face the crisp air of winter with some skinny slacks, leather wedge boots, and a fuzzy oversized sweater and scarf. This is how I'll be... no doubt also finding two big boxes under the tree this year... containing a certain pair of pants from grandpa, and Aunt Jane's favorite boots for down on the farm. = )

An Arranged Marriage

I wonder what it would be like... meeting a man your family picked, knowing you're going to spend life with an utter stranger. God, it scares me who my family would decide was my perfect other half... but a little curious to. I picture a quiet, sweet guy who is very much a 'momma's boy,' goes to church religiously, maybe even works for a religiously affiliated organization, and exactly the kind of person I'd have nothing to say to. Well, I can talk to almost anyone if I try hard enough, but being matrimoniously bound to them is a whole other situation! I think I'd scare the poor guy in the first hour. (OK! Maybe a little on purpose.) I don't think he could handle my stories, experiences, creative personality, and extremes. (Am I the only one who feels "normal" by watching episodes of Sex in the City? Doubtful...)

HERE is one woman's story.

I Miss Saddleseat

I miss saddle seat. I went out to see my old mare the other night and it hit me. She's getting old... 17 next spring. Time is slowing her down, stiffening her limbs, and the winter nights keep us at an easy workout. I stretched out her legs and thought back to our show days together, and the days showing a string of other National Show Horses. She introduced me to saddle seat. The thrill of competition. The power of a long, lean horse beneath you whose muscles so finely sculpted, quiver with anticipation of each shift of weight, cluck of the tongue, or touch of the leg; Rocking back on their powerful hindquarters, responding with a high, collected head carriage and lifting up in front to almost touch knee to nose in huge stride. There's no better feeling than a completely unified 'park trot' down the straight way of an arena. You're on top of the world, guiding a powerful beast in untouchable valor. Hang on, sit back, balance, and get ready for the ride of your life!

Pencil Art

Artist Jennifer Maestre uses pencil shavings to create intricate sculptures. Each shaving is pieced together and held by pins, nails, zippers, and other materials. The result almost comes to life! These remind me of living things you might see at the bottom of the ocean or in an exotic saltwater aquarium.

Jennifer teaches her technique to students and is a graduate of Wesley College and The Massachusetts College of Art.

Tips for Living Beyond Limits

"Open Road" by Cornel Suciu

At times, we all feel held to our jobs, routines, and commitments. But what about your dreams? When did we grow up so much that we began to let go of the pictures we created of who we could be, what we could do, and what our lives someday could be? In kindergarten, children dream of becoming a world-famous doctor, singing on stage, rescuing people from disaster, fighting crime, heck-- even flying or making the first time machine. At what point did we create our own walls of self-doubt and settle for less than we deserve? What we should work towards, is throwing open the doors to our dreams, challenging them to get bigger and stronger with time, and realize we ARE old enough now to make them possible. What are we waiting for...

Share a piece of yourself- spill open the contents of what you've been holding back; share your life, your experience, your memories. Share them on paper, share them over a cup of coffee, with the stranger next to you, or your closest girlfriends. Openly ponder your life and goals. Get up on stage. Be the comedian you wanted to be, if even for a night. Take the mic and give them a performance to remember. Share your skills; Teach a child. Hold a hand. Give out a hug.

Become an expert- Find something you love, and learn all there is to know about it. Dig into the contents, explore the industry, practice your free throw, get out there and start running. Sweat it out, pull it out, choose to go above and beyond average.

Explore- Look again at the world from atop a tree limb. Climb to the sky just to see the world from birds-eye view. Take the wrong turn and see where it leads; Stop and pick some wildflowers, sample from the fruit stand, and browse a flea market. Search out obscure shops, meet the people who live beside you and around you; Talk to the homeless, the wide-eyed child; stop to pet a friendly dog or wander through an art gallery. Make every day a new adventure and see where it leads.

Benefit Auction- National Eating Disorder Assoc.

One-of-a-kind items, tickets, passes, vacations, and packages are being auctioned off to benefit the National Eating Disorder Association. Check it out!

Latest in Contemporary Art

Animated Painting
October 13, 2007–January 13, 2008

The San Diego Museum of Art is now featuring Animated Painting, one of the latest trends to enter the art world. Featuring 25 pieces by 14 international contemporary artists who combine the traditional style of contemporary painting with animation, these works are on display and open for public critique. Popular culture and progressive musical styles combine for a reaction both on a visual and audio stimulation level.

Memorable Craigslist Ad

This one comes from Knoxville, TN.

This baby has been lowered to give that aggressive look, has new cross ventilation air conditioning at no extra charge. Great on gas, you will never need to put gas in it. Not that you could if you wanted to but that's besides the point. MAKE A STATEMENT WITH THIS BABY! Its a real eye catcher. Women will stop and stare , its a real chick magnet!!! Paint has a slight scuff in it but nothing some rubbing compound can't buff out.

Designer Lingerie Pick

My pick for sexy, cute lingerie goes to Mio Destino.

These French and Italian pieces are simply beautiful. Silken nightwear, corsets, bras, and more are a shopper's paradise. It can be so hard to find unique and well made pieces when it comes to the bedroom. Enjoy a girl's night at home, or make time for your man; Mio Destino has a great collection of items to browse. Select your currency of choice on the top right corner of the website. Shipping worldwide.

An Artist's Eye

Great and stunning images never go out of style. Here are a few I thought were worth sharing.

Xposure Photo

Blue Root Imaging

Pursuing Happiness

What does it really mean to be happy? What does it mean to create happiness in life? The old cliche says happiness does not depend on circumstance. Well maybe it shouldn't, but I think it does. Understand however, that I don't believe life has to be perfect, but something does have to be there to hold onto that's more important than that which is gone or gone wrong.
I've been thinking about the concept of being happy lately. Mostly because right now, I am not. I can remember times in the past when it felt as if everything were unravelling; My ball of twine was surely coming undone-- Like when I had to move out of a difficult housing situation in the course of one weekend. It became all too apparent that I needed to not be living with the three girls (and boyfriends) in our two-bedroom apartment. (Plus, the miscellaneous men one particular girl was inviting over).... girl fights, tight quarters, you get the picture. It was time to move on. Long story short, they decided that even paying out my portion of the rent for the remainder of our lease was not good enough. My things were thrown into garbage bags and held captive inside the home whose lock my key once turned. Before, of course, they changed those locks. I was financially strapped, virtually homeless, and without a belonging to my name. I should have known better than to move there to begin with. But I didn't. Friends came out of nowhere to offer help and eventually, retreive my belongings by order of local authorities. In one defining moment, I let go. I let go of the 'stuff' I'd been so worried about getting back. I let go of being angry, and appreciated the people who amazed me with generosity. I was, surprisingly, very HAPPY.
How does one go about creating a life of happiness? If I want to build this, it has to be from the ground up. First, I need to simplify my life. That means taking a step back from great moving plans right now, not getting ahead of myself, and forcing plans to happen just so they're finally just over and done. That means not over sacrificing, over promising, and over extending. I want to clean house. It's time to asess what I have, the things I've collected, put away for 'one day when I might need it.' Well, the day has come. Either I need it or I don't. If I don't, then someone else will. I contacted a local company who is sponsoring a family in need for the holidays and found a good way to pass on some perfectly useful items, that are not useful for me. It's freeing to become a minimalist. I never want to play the college nomad again, but I don't want to be tied down to what I have. This makes me happy. Helping someone else makes me happy.
Second, I need to invest into the friendships I want to cultivate, and the old ones I've held onto. I want to let these people know how much they mean to me, and make sure I act like I mean it. I want to be there for them, to finally go visit on the trips I've put off, and to know they'll be there for me when I need it. I want to laugh again. I want to put the people who mean something to me, before the work and projects that should come second. I want to love these people.
Finally, I want to learn to breathe. To look at the world again in wonder and thank God for the time I've spent here and the time in waiting. I want to embrace where I am, what I'm doing, and find satisfaction. I want to keep my eyes on my side of the fence.
What makes you happy?